Why grind when grin speaks louder?

"Skills can be learned, attitude can't."

I heard this being said in a lot of sentences, and I'm sure we all think we understood what it really means. But are we, though?

From what I can remember, in some situations, asking a lot of questions makes you considered as a "critical thinker". Yet in another, you're someone who doesn't understand the assignment. I keep thinking, is it our tone that makes it different? Is it the words, sentence, or phrase we choose? Is it the way we socialize in the office?

Some leaders value effort, others are result-oriented. In the end, both kinds still want you to get the job done, right? In the context of communicating in a team, in my experience, people who are good at making jokes almost always receive positive feedback when they throw in a joke between questions, or when they try to argue in defense of why they are not performing as expected. The question is, can everyone be a good jokester? We know the answer to that, of course. Then there's also a factor of familiarity. Many say skills and performance are not enough to climb that corporate ladder, cause competition is fierce in a jungle full of concrete. Showing the "right attitude", bonding, and getting "the decision-maker" to know you personally is equally important. And I agree with that way of thinking.

As someone who works in sales and marketing, which requires me to close many deals and plan campaigns, emotional appeal does get the job done in some cases. But what makes it itch for me is that I firmly believe appealing emotionally is a form of "reinforcement" to influence things towards your way, forcing a lead to make a decision you condition them for, or making it faster. It is a plus factor, adding new value on top of what I think is the most fundamental thing in closing a deal, the "benefit/solution" itself. You can't expect people to just buy whatever you offer them just because they know you personally.

Well, a friend might buy what you sell if you ask for help, but that doesn't mean they're going to buy it repeatedly. In other words, emotional appeal does work, but is it a sustainable system? I don't think so.

Then a new question popped up in my head. What does the "right attitude" mean? Skills or attitude, which carries more weight?

When you’re out there getting jobs done, it’s strange how a "bad attitude" tag can linger just because you didn’t play the charm card. It’s like finishing first in a race and being judged on why you didn’t wave to the audience. In this fast-paced world nowadays, your skills and hustle are the roots that keep things growing. The twist? Attitude’s often the louder conversation, even when your results speak for themselves.

In the end, the "right attitude" remains an elusive puzzle, shaped by context, perception, and the unspoken rules of human connection. While skills can be honed, it’s the intangible—how we make others feel, how we navigate the unspoken dynamics of trust and familiarity—that often tips the scales. Perhaps the true challenge isn’t defining the "right attitude" but recognizing that it’s a dance between authenticity and adaptability, one we must learn to perform without losing ourselves in the rhythm.

If skill is the house for you to live in, then attitude is the furniture you put in there. You can live without it, but it won't be comfortable if it's not suitable.

Maybe now you know where you should improve yourself?